Identity Crisis?

 

Thinking a bit about what we went over in class yesterday, I couldn’t help but think about what it means to be a part of the dominant culture. I also can’t help but think about the attributes that make up my culture. While I can think of many different cultures and what makes them unique, I am having issues identifying what makes my culture unique. How do I find my roots? I think I’m having a bit of an identity crisis.

Henry talked a bit about “inhaling” what people say about your culture. I think that has become a problem in my generation. We have become more aware of what Caucasians have done to minorities and the result is, there is a certain amount of self-hate and a certain part of me doesn’t want to identify with my culture. Am I proud of where I came from? That’s hard to say. Where I came from is Chula Vista. My best friends were Filipino, African-American, and Mexican. When I started school, I quickly learned how to curse in both Tagalog and Spanish. I grew to love Mexican and Filipino food. I loved spending time with the big families that were always congregating at my friends’ houses. I envied my friends’ extended families and relished the affection that was bestowed on me by my adopted aunties and tias. My music tastes are vast, and I have my exposure to different cultures to thank for that. I also appreciate my willingness to try new and exciting foods…This comes from loving hands urging me to try chitterlings, Sinigang, and menudo. 

I identify as American. But to me, that means an absorption of many different cultures. One could say that I should identify with Irish culture since that is where my family originated. My great, great, great, great, great, great Grandfather was Colonel Blood. He is famous for being the first (maybe only) one to successfully steal the Crown Jewels from the Tower of London, even though he was caught as he escaped. So should I identify with Irish thieves? 

I typed in Caucasian Culture in Google and I could not find a single thing that could help me answer my inquiry. What is “my” culture? I typed in Hispanic Culture and there were A LOT of scholarly articles and websites devoted to Hispanic culture. *SIGH* 

Henry was kind enough to recommend resources for me. I’m hoping that this will help with my identity crisis…Let’s make it an identity journey.

MIA

Hello, Scholars!

So as you may have noticed, I have been MIA lately. I hope you don't think I have forgotten about you because I really haven't. I miss you guys...and gals! :)

My grandmother passed away a little over a week ago, and I traveled back to Missouri with my parents and my sister to attend her funeral. I'm still kind of decompressing from that whole experience. I had planned on returning today, but I just needed a day. That's all.

And to add to the emotional roller coaster, my little sister is getting married this weekend. It's a big weekend-long celebration in Julian. (Thank God the fire didn't rage out of control, right?) So we had a funeral last weekend and a wedding this weekend. *Sigh*

Anyway, my experience in Missouri was not only a time for grieving and saying goodbye, it was really another eye-opener for me. I was in a very, very small town named Doniphan in the middle of the Ozarks. It is a 3 hour drive from any airport. For four days, I was surrounded by ONLY Caucasians. And I couldn't have felt more out of place. It reminded me how lucky I am to have grown up in such a culturally rich environment. And it also reminded me that I have a lot of traits, interests, and traditions that I have adopted from other cultures. Thank God. I will definitely go into this more later, but I just wanted to get this up as a kind of...I miss you guys!!!!! :)

Before we hopped on the plane in St.Louis, I also visited the Basilica in St. Louis. It was one of the most amazing places I have ever been. The inside was all tiled mosaics that took about 70years to complete. I have a few pictures that don't really do it justice, but if you are interested in architecture or amazing artistry, look it up: it's amazing. Here is a taste:

See you all soon!!!!!!
Laura

"The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue" (Dorothy Parker)

At this point in my life, I identify with Dorothy Parker. She's my favorite author and who I want to be when I grow up :)

That being said, even at my age, I can't really say that I know who I am. When I was 16, I was sure that I knew, and then again, at 24, I described myself in a completely different way. I can't even tell you how many times in my life my views about myself have changed.

My interest in this subject comes from different directions. What I mean is, I grew up immersed in many different cultures. I really do believe that I am so lucky to have grown up in Chula Vista. I look at my cousins who grew up in Kokomo, Indiana with such a white bread colorless life and I really feel sorry for them. I feel lucky to have grown up in such a diverse environment. That's why I can't imagine raising my kids anywhere else. I am also interested in getting to know more of the history and the sociology of the Filipino community. Obviously, I'm not Filipino. However, I was lucky enough growing up to have many adopted aunties in the community. Another reason why I am interested in being here is because I love the idea of a learning community. I like the idea of a group of students helping each other out. That's how it's supposed to be, right?

I'm looking forward to this semester!!!!!

Peace,
Laura